Do you ever feel like life gets ahead of you sometimes. Like, before you’re done dealing with one problem 3 more have popped up?
Sigh… Ok good, I’m not the only one.
So what do we do when things get overwhelming? Honestly, sometimes I just wanna hide under a rock. Sometimes, I’ll joke with my husband, “I’m going to hide under my rock now!” The “rock” of course, being my bedroom. My place of solace, where the boogie man aka life, can’t reach me.
I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately. Right now, most of it has to do with physical issues.
Up to today I’ve had a horrid muscle spasm (that’s what the Dr is assuming it is) in my neck since the end of February. Sometimes the pain intensifies and travels down my arm and I’m useless. Sometimes, and on and on. Sigh…
In the first 2 months the pain was so bad that I could hardly move without crying out in pain. For any mother that’s a difficult thing to go through. What about dinner? Homeschool? CHURCH!?
Thank God I have an amazing husband that took great care of me and never let me feel like a burden. He even googled some recipe after I couldn’t handle anymore “Dad dinners” such as, burgers, pizza, fries….
“We need veggies!” I pleaded. Thankfully he agreed and arose to the challenge and made some amazing meals. The kids might be a little sad I’m back to cooking again… Might.
Anyways, when we first go through these things I feel like we go between frustration to looking on the bright side to talking ourselves into being patient with the situation.
But now I’m going into my 4th month with this pain and it’s not so easy. I’m tired of hurting. Tired of moving slowly and smiling and telling everyone I’m fine. Sometimes… I’m even tired of mustering up my faith, currently the size of a mustard seed, to believe for healing…. again. Am I the only one? Am I being to real?
So what do I do….?
I do it again.
I believe again.
I have to.
I need to.
Isn’t that the very definition of faith?
As I write this, I also have a bad cold. Nice, right? Can’t I get a break? Nope! That’s life and I’m definitely not the only one going through some tough stuff. So what are we gonna do when “life” throws life at us? Curl up under our rock? No! We must trek on. We’re stronger than we think we are, especially when we lean on Jesus.
I haven’t learned necessarily how strong I am but how much I still need to lean on Jesus. How sometimes we get good at being good. How it’s easier to believe for others and not so much ourselves sometimes. Can I get a witness..?
I’m not gonna lie, these 3 months have been frustrating. (Getting mugged during this time definitely didn’t help). Sometimes don’t you wanna yell on the rooftop, “What next!!!”
However, let’s not give in to that. Maybe instead I will quietly whisper, “God, with you all things are possible”. Maybe I’ll shout that instead.
These are the best times to put our focus elsewhere, to read our bibles more, pray more, seek God more; not pull away.
Emotions are unruly little things. If we’re not careful they’ll control our focus, our will, and our lives.
However, growth comes from being stretched. Some of the most blessed, happy, and centered people I have met have been dealt a heavy hand in life and they choose not to feel sorry for themselves. They serve others. They’re grateful and full of joy.
They’ve served as great examples to me during these times. Dare I say, our suffering can be a source of comfort to others…?
My weakness is made strong in Him. In my weakness He carries me and deserves all the glory.
I will choose to believe for healing EVERY time I’m prayed for. I have plenty reference points of getting healed in the past. It’s all in His timing.
So while we can’t control our circumstances, we can control how we react towards them. God knows I’m fallible, and I know He’s powerful.
Amen. My hope is in Him and I’m ready for life if it throws me another.